I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
