try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
