East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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