in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
