Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
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