My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
she looked like the before picture.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
