I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
