so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
