They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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