I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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