I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
BRING THE BAGELS
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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