where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
