I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
