Yo dont text me then not text me
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Floor bacon is actually really good
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
