Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
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