so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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