he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
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