so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
