I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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