Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
