Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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