There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
