You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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