btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Randomize
