felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
it was like having sex with a tree stump
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
