Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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