We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
