ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.