halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I am naked and annoyed.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.