I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
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she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I have grass duct taped all over my body
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I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.