you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
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