I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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