Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I want to be your penis for a week.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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