The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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