my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
she looked like the before picture.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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