Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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