you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
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doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
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Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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