So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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