If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
