someone get that fucking seahorse.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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