You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
