On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
