I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
