Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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