Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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