Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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