used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize