a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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