Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry 10498fld hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(612): View more from Minnesota

Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.

Fav 8 3380 1069
share tweet
(954): View more from Florida

My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?

Fav 44 5084 2590
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope

Fav 28 1534 4999
share tweet
(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.

Fav 12 4658 1782
share tweet
(510): View more from California

I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear

Fav 9 2528 1186
share tweet
(425): View more from Washington

Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf

Fav 4 601 608
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(281): View more from Texas

Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner

Fav 3 455 864
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(716): View more from New York

I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!

Fav 4 87 5
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(608): View more from Wisconsin

Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.

(773): View more from Illinois

You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.

(608): View more from Wisconsin

I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.

Fav 0 69 11
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT