fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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