Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
