on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
