Your tits are I can't wait for
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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