Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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