Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Randomize