tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
