it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
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