The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
