she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
