I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
