Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
